What the heck is a Tim Bits Toss?

I am going to toss them into my waiting maw.

Every year, Skagway hosts a ski race called the Buckwheat Ski Classic. This year there was very little snow and spring arrived two months early, which puts a pretty big dent in plans to hold a ski race. Fortunately, Skagway people are undaunted by global climate change because politicians are way smarter than scientists. Even though the ski race was canceled, the party will still go on. The spirit of competition will also remain because of an event being dubbed as the Tim Bits Toss. What the heck is that?!

What the heck is a Tim Bit?

Good question. The ski race is held in Canada. Canadian cuisine is best summed up with three food items: Poutine, Ceasars, and Tim Bits. Tim Bits are doughnut holes sold at a popular chain restaurant called Tim Hortons. They come in a box. If you carry one of those boxes around in Canada during broad daylight, you may very well be robbed. Keep in mind, though, that robberies in Canada are polite affairs that usually end up in a hockey match.

So what the heck is a Tim Bits Toss?

Before the race, I figured it was when a Canadians favorite hockey team loses, causing them to binge on Molson Ice and Tim Bits until the inevitable ensues and everyone goes outside to have a spit. Apparently, this was wrong.

The Tim Bits Toss is performed by teams comprised of two players. When the contest starts, teammates stand a few feet apart… sorry… about a metre apart. Then one player tosses the Tim Bit to the other player. If they catch it, the team advances to the next round. If not, they are eliminated.

Before the next round starts, every player must take a step backward, making the throwing distance even longer. This goes on for some time until only one team is left. They are the winner. Then everyone eats the Tim Bits and washes it down with beer. Except for the kids. They have juice or something.

Is that a real sport?

When there isn’t enough snow to ski, then the Tim Bits Toss is the pinnacle of Canadian sport. Many trained for hours ahead of time by eating Tim Bits like there was no tomorrow. Other contestants used different techniques, like getting boozed up on cheap whiskey.

Winning is not the goal of this game. There was no prize. I think the goal is to eat some Tim Bits and have a good time. If you can’t have fun throwing doughnut holes at your buddy or wife, what kind of person are you? That’s something you should be asking yourself.

Canadians are a bit strange, but we love them and their cultural delicacies. Hopefully, there is plenty of snow next year. If not, perhaps the Tim Bits Toss can become the Fast Pitch Tim Bits Toss.