Have a happy Skagway Christmas

From M&M Tours

You may not know this, but Santa doesn’t live very far away from Skagway. He sometimes comes to town during the winter months for a short visit. What does he do while he’s in Skagway, you ask? Let’s take a brief look at Santa’s Skagway itinerary.

Santa is all about a hearty breakfast

The first thing Santa likes to do is stop by the Station Bar & Grill for a hearty chicken fried steak with eggs over easy. Santa likes to wash down his meal with a Bailey’s and coffee, but he never drinks more than 4 because he doesn’t want to get arrested from Driving a Sleigh Under the Influence (DSUI). Santa always gets a few side orders of bacon to go because if Rudolph doesn’t get something to eat he can be a real pain the butt.

Santa likes to visit the kids

After he’s done eating, Santa gets the fire department to drive him around town so he can bring gifts to all the boys and girls. This is a happy time for everyone, even though Santa’s breath smells like a sour combination of fried breakfast foods and booze.

This year, Santa brought me an automatic knife and a new pair of fishing pliers. Last year he got me a fart machine. Santa really is something else.

Are elves human?

I’ve been wondering about whether elves are human. They are all kind of short, but that could just be a job requirement for making toys. What strikes me as odd is that they all have pointed ears. Do you know who else has pointed ears? Mr. Spock from Star Trek and he is an alien. Those elves from the Lord of the Rings movies also have pointed ears, and they go out of their way to tell you that they’re not human.

The Devil, demons, and Nosferatu also have pointed ears. This raises some serious questions Santa’s employees. However, the hoards of darkness are all quite tall, so it’s unlikely they are elves. I think it’s more likely that elves are actually gnomes. It makes sense when you think about it because they’re not seen during the winter when they’re working at the North Pole, but during the summer you see them hanging around gardens and people’s front doors.

Have you ever seen a gnome on a Skagway tour?

Oh, for sure. Whenever there’s a rainbow in Skagway, you can find a gnome guarding his pot of gold. You may not know this but a Leprechaun is a gnome that was born in Ireland. Most Leprechauns living in Alaska emigrated from Ireland during the Klondike Gold Rush. After striking gold, they decided to keep it in a pot near a rainbow where it’s protected by rainbow magic.

Thank you, Santa, and Merry Christmas to all

On behalf of Skagway, I would like to thank Santa, his gnomes and his magic caribou for the joy they bring to everyone on Christmas. On behalf of M&M Tours in Skagway, I would like to wish you and your family a very Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays.